Self introduction email
To: Brad Blackstone
From: Tan Quni, Jeaine
Date: January 21, 2019
Subject: BHB 2803 CPD II Self Introduction
Dear Professor Blackstone
I am Jeaine Tan from BHB 2803 Career and Professional Development II (CPD II), trimester two, seminar group three. I am writing to introduce myself formally to you. I am currently an undergraduate from Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT), specializing in the hospitality business. Prior to entering SIT, I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in hotel and leisure facilities management.
I have always been interested in the serving and hospitality industry. Since young, my aspiration has been related to either being part of the medical industry to serve the nation or doing a job that allows me to meet new people. Therefore, being part of the hospitality industry suited my interest to serve and meet new people.
To be in the hospitality industry, one has to be friendly, approachable and pays attention to details. On the contrary, I used to be timid, unapproachable and someone who shy from attention. I was able to step out of my tiny bubble due to my appointment as part of the student council in primary school. In the midst of my appointment as a student councillor, I begin to love to interact with people and actively participate in activities that allow me to meet new people. I stepped out of my comfort zone and became someone who is known to be bubbly, active and spontaneous.
Through my experience from interacting with people, I am able to express myself verbally. However, I face difficulty in expressing myself in writing. Therefore, I hope that through CPD II, I would be able to improve my writing. This leads to me naming my blog to be “A chatterbox tiny little noisy world” as I am petite, noisy and definitely a chatterbox who hopes to express herself well in writing.
Thank you for reading this email. I hope that I have expressed myself clearly and I look forward to our classes.
Warmest Regards
Jeaine Tan
1701197
Hospitality Business Degree Program
BHB 2803 CPD II Trimester 2 Group 3
*Commented on:
- Xenia
- Kelly
- Delvine
Last edited on 22 March 2019
Dear Jeaine,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear and concise, yet detailed letter. In it you do a very good job of explaining your interest in hospitality business. It's apparent even from your in-class behaviour that you're a 'people person,' so by your own definition of what is required in the hospitality industry, it would seem you've made the right choice. I appreciate how in the letter you pinpoint a change in your personality during primary school. Do you have any idea what prompted that shift?
In terms of communication, you mention that you have problems with writing, so the following areas might be worth a review:
1. phrasing
-- to serve the characters > (meaning?)
-- my needs to serve and meet new people. > my need to serve and meet new people.
-- I, on the other hand, used to be timid, unapproachable and someone who shies from attention. >
In contrast, I used to be timid, unapproachable and shy from attention.
2. sentence structure
-- ...one has to be friendly, approachable and someone who pays attention to details. >
(lack of parallel expression) one has to be friendly and approachable and pay attention to detail.
3. verb tense inconsistency
-- Subsequently, I begin to love to interact with people and actively participate in activities that allow me to meet new people. Long gone is the girl who is afraid to speak up or be approached. > ?
-- I am not able to express exactly what I meant > ?
-- I would be able to brush up
You don't give a lot of space in the letter to your communication strengths, although you do reference expressing yourself verbally. I take that to mean orally. I look forward to hearing more about you, and learning from you, this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Professor Blackstone
DeleteThank you for identifying the areas of improvement for my self introduction email. I really hope that I have made the right choice in joining SIT as well as the hospitality industry. With regards to what prompted the shift, it is probably due to my exposures when being a student councillor. My first appointment to be a student councillor was in primary two which I continued to join the student council in secondary school due to my new interest. As being a student councillor, it requires someone to be approachable, discipline and friendly. It helped me to grow and be who I am today.
Thank you.
Warmest Regards
Jeaine Tan
Thanks so much, Jeaine, for your reply and the explanatory response to my question.
DeleteHi Jeaine, glad to know that you are more proactive to participate and speak up! Similarly, serving and hospitality industry has always been my interest. Therefore, I took up several part-time jobs in the service industry. I am very happy that you are able to identify your flaws. I hope we can learn from each other because writing is one of my weakness too. All the best and let us learn together!
ReplyDeleteHi Xenia. Thank you for your comment. You took up several part-time jobs while studying or was it during your holiday periods? I do hope that we could learn as much as we can from one another.
ReplyDeleteI do part-time during school terms when I have early classes and during the weekends. During holidays, I will work more (to earn more allowance).
DeleteThank you for your reply!
Cheers,
Xenia